Instant Connections

December and January are always reflective months for me.  I look back at a whole year and think how different it seems now that the old one is ending and a new one is starting.  Never does a year go as planned!  I look back and see how the start of 2015 was so different from the start of 2016.  in 2015 we were coming off a year with 3 miscarriages.  We started the year not knowing if there were more pregnancy losses in our future.  Maybe we would have to say that we were done growing our family?  We just didn't know.  Now, we start the year with a happy little baby whom everybody loves.  Joy is abundant.  Not that I never felt joy in 2015.  I did.  I just had to work harder at it.

Last week I visited COSI (a local museum) with the girls and members of my family.  It was Norah's first time attending!  Not that a 3-month-old can do much at COSI besides look at all the lights.  But every first for Norah is monumental.  Near the end of our visit my sister took Lara and Vivi to another part of the museum while I took Mariella and Norah to Kidspace.  Mariella happily ran around playing and ended up at the climbing wall (go figure).  While Norah and I sat watching her climb up and down over and over again, a woman sat down next to me and remarked how cute my baby was.  I had seen this family walking around COSI (it was quite an empty day there) and had noticed how cute their little daughter was and that the woman was visibly pregnant.  She asked about the transition from one to two kids and how Mariella did with a baby sister.  I explained that Norah was number 4 so transitions were pretty easy right now and that Mariella was a wonderful helper.  She asked about the ages of my daughters and noticed how evenly spaced they all were.  Except for Mariella and Norah.  While we were talking about that, I quickly gauged what I would do.  Would I tell her?  Would I just let it gloss over?  I looked at her and said very matter-of-factly "Well, I had 3 miscarriages between Mariella and Norah.  That's why there's such a 4-year gap between them."  She smiled at me. "Ah," she said, "Rainbow babies are very loved."  And instantly there was a connection.  She had experienced a pregnancy loss before her oldest was born and knew all about the issues that go along with that.  We chatted a little bit more before I had to collect Mariella to go home.  I am thankful that I said something.  Although I hate to know that somebody has had to experience something so painful, there is a feeling of kindred spirits that goes on when you form that bridge.  A member of my support group always would say "These are my people."  I am thankful to have met so many of "My People" and formed lasting connections with them.  2016 will bring even more of My People into my path and I will look for them.  And I will let them know that they are not alone.