Finding Support

With my first two miscarriages I didn't really seek out any additional support other than friends and family.  I am not sure why, I just didn't.  After the third one, I felt like I needed to stay on top of my mental health and started reading more about support groups and organizations that help women and their families who have suffered a pregnancy or infant loss.  I went to my first support group meeting just two weeks after the miscarriage and I was so surprised at how many women shared how they were told by friends and family members to not talk about their loss.  It was obvious that they did not have a good support system outside of the group and that made me sad.  It is imperative that every woman and family have the means to express their grief and find comfort in human contact.

My support group is sponsored by Ohio Health and you can find here information here.  The counselor who facilitates this group is wonderful and I highly recommend attending!  To commemorate Infant and Pregnancy Loss Awareness Month they held a Candlelight Tulip Ceremony for families to attend and it was so beautiful.  Families can write their babies names on little cards and hang them on a "Remembrance Tree" which is brought back each year for the ceremony.

Families were invited to share poems, letters, scriptures, anything that commemorated their baby.  There were all kinds of different stories present.  People who miscarried a few months ago, a year ago, or even many years ago.  People who had a child stillborn.  People who commemorated a lost sibling or grandchild.  One woman's son would have been a year old that month.  She thanked us for helping her to celebrate his birthday.  

Children were encouraged to draw a picture that could be buried with the tulip bulbs.  The bulbs were then passed out and as you received one you could say the name/s of the babies that you lost.  The garden was then opened for everyone to plant their tulip bulbs.

 Each of my girls picked a sibling's namecard to decorate and then we rolled it up into a little scroll to plant with the tulip.

I think this was a perfect way to involve my kids in the grieving process.  They were so excited to share the names of their siblings even though they were sad that the babies did not survive.

October is a great month to get involved in an organization or group that provides help in the healing process.  Below you will find a few links that I found for groups, mostly in Ohio.  If you need such a support system then I hope that you will find one that fits you!  If you feel like you cannot talk to members of your immediate circle about your loss, I guarantee that you are not alone and that SOMEONE wants to talk to you.  If anything, leave a comment and share your story with me.  I am a good listener and happy to talk!

Support Resources

http://www.marchofdimes.org/
http://carryingtenderangels.com/othersupport.html
http://www.firstcandle.org/grieving-families/grief-resources/local-support/#Ohio
http://facesofloss.com/face2face-groups
http://cornerstoneofhope.org/